Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21 KJV
Our biggest opportunity’s to grow are inside our relationships. But what do we do when we feel beat up and bad inside a relationship, whether it’s a relationship with our dad, a friend, a boyfriend, what about even a husband?
The other night I was at bible study, after the message, we broke up into small groups. The topic for discussion was:
“How do you walk in God’s word, in those stressful relationships?”
A girl in the group started to share how she felt like she constantly fell short in this area with her boyfriend.
He would often tear her down with his words. For example if they went to church and she felt like she was growing from the lesson taught, she would share with him, “Oh, that was good I can apply that to my life”. He would then be condescending and convince her that she could not and she would defend herself and start feeling beat up or that maybe he was right.
We tend to feel hopeful and encouraged when we are moving forward and growing. This causes us to feel like our life is working.
If you are in a relationship, especially a key one, with someone that is constantly suppressing you or tearing you down instead of building you up,
#1- Is it possible to limit the amount of time you spend with them?
Surround yourself with people that speak life and encourage you, in your growth in all areas of life, as well as spiritual.
#2 If this is a relationship that you are invested in long term, STOP reacting to their negative response. Break the pattern!
When we don’t react, it allows the Holy Spirit to do the work.
When we are quiet, then God can convict and the person and change can occur. The Holy Spirit can also speak to us when we focus on our growth and Him, instead of the problem.
If you say Terri, the change may not occur. That is correct. You can’t change another person, but God can, IF THEY choose to allow the word of God and the Holy Spirit to do so.
But something does change. YOU!
By getting in the word and confessing what God says you are. You start getting your worth form God not another human.
After a walk with the Lord in this area and planting the word in your heart by reading and saying it out loud, you can just let the toxic words of another pass you by.
When we blame others, instead of taking responsibility, we are projecting our issues onto others, instead of dealing with them. If we are left to those issues, often we will look at them. God surfaces our wounds for healing and restoration.
Father help me to see when I am defending or placing blame. Expose the deeper issue so it can heal.
Help me to store, in my heart, what your word says I am. Line my belief up with your truth so my worth will come from you.
Thank you Father! Amen.
Speaker - Author