It’s inside our relationships that wounds are revealed. Wounds are not always big things that happened in our past; like rape, loss of a parent or watching a parent being abuse and feeling helpless. Sometimes it can be small things that hurt us as a child, like: being made fun of in school, looking awkward during growth spurts, or being dropped as a friend; and we get stuck there.
The root, of that place of pain, may create feelings of: helplessness or unworthiness, fear of abandonment or feeling unloved & unimportant.
These feelings play themselves out inside our relationships; unless we heal and choose not to be ruled by our emotions.
If you are feeling toxic emotions that are greater than the circumstance warrants, and your defenses arise; Do you find yourself: retreating and not speaking or defending and blaming.
If you are in a reactive state, where you are in opposition verses coming together in unity, there is a need to heal.
*Step 1: REVEAL- Identify where the root of the emotion comes from.
Ask yourself: Where did I first “feel” this emotion?
That is where the healing work takes place.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, Luke 4:18
*Step 2-CONFESS or "own it" - Identify your age, where you where, who was there. Get a vivid picture of that place.
It helps to close your eyes and focus on the details then next, to journal the exact details. It’s inside these details that the clues reveal the root of the hurt.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse (HEAL) us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 KJV
It maybe necessary to do this with a counselor so they can help walk you through this.
*Step 3: HEAL- Once you are aware of the hurt and who caused this, “Letting Go” and forgiveness work is necessary for you to be set free.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3 NIV
I use letter writing, and then giving the letter to God. Forgiveness is a process. But it is a process you want to completely finish it. For your own freedom!
There are so many good recovery and healing books available. Be encouraged to find a tool to be set free from being ruled by emotion.
Unhealed wounds can “drive you to drink”, cause you to isolate or even push you into reactive behavior that is damaging to you and your relationships.
*Step 4: RESTORE: This step restores you to a healthier place for your current relationships. It often restores the brokenness in the original relationships; many times this work is done without ever talking to the other party (especially if there was abuse, it may NOT be necessary to talk with them; just imperative for you to be released from holding on to toxic feelings and hurt.)
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)
Is it time for you to heal and “Let go” of toxic emotions and hurt that are holding you back from all God has for you?
Father, show me the areas in my life that you want to heal? Reveal these places to me, so I can give them to you. Amen.
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